Blog! What Blog? What is a Blog Anyway?

I had to Google it. ‘A truncation of the expression Web Log’ (Wikipedia). There I was thinking it meant ‘Big Log’. We all know how much yogi’s love to talk about those. Whew! Now I can sleep easy.

We’re coming to the end of week 7 here and I guess the main reason I haven’t blogged is it seems I’ve settled into that routine of every day life and have acclimatised to the point where nothing seems new or out of place anymore. Hence, I have nothing to say. What’s Sherren’s excuse?

Having to stop and wait for a 6 foot snake to cross the road before making our way to the shala in the morning – Normal! Sherren Googled the snake, they eat rats and are non threatening. Though the little fella did cast me a glance that said “I got right of way mate! So back off.

Monkey climbing in your window while you’re watching UFC on the PC and steeling your Chana Dhal – Normal. They’re not as silly as you’d think. It passed up on the mandarins and bananas. Seems he must have heard about his cuzzy bro’s in the zoo getting type 2 diabetes from eating too much fruit they’re not evolved to eat (Monkeys and evolution, don't get me started!)

Slum children playing with matches (As you do. When I was young petrol would have also been involved) set fire to a neighbouring property full of dried palm trees. Fire brigade had to put the blaze out. No property damaged and no-one hurt (well maybe someone got a good kick up the ass a bit later) – Normal (Note: For the record I didn’t burn anything down till I was an adult and that involved gin and cooking oil, not petrol).

Weaving amongst cows, motobikes and buses to get across the road – Normal. I would actually recommend crossing where there are cows. It’s the only time motorist don’t sit on their horns constantly. Sometimes when you’re tired and the heat is getting to you, the only thing standing between your calm self and a murderous psychopath is having a 200 decibel horn blast in your ear.

Laying about all day (literally flat on our backs) because we’re too tired to do much else – Normal. Yes yoga is one hell of a workout but we’re done by 7:30am. When we arrived it was 32 degrees and 10% humidity every day. Now it’s spring and summer is arriving fast with 39 degrees and 35% humidity every day with humidity set to rise. I feel comfortable enough but surely it’s contributing to the lack of energy. Sherren is feeling it a bit more than me. The other contributing factor would be, we’re both trying to shed those winter bellies and as a result are only eating 2 full meals a day (It’s also not wise to eat much for dinner as it only hinders your early practice. Therefore we eat a large lunch at about 14:00 to 15:00 and have a light snack before bed)

When your wife cooks you a lovely lunch with crunchy chana dhal lentils in it, you question the crunchy dhal lentils and are told “It’s not like you’ll break a tooth”. 30 seconds later, broken tooth! – Normal. The unwritten deal was I would cook 5 days a week, we’d eat out once and Sherren would cook once. In return Sherren would do the laundry. I am now cooking 6 days a week.

Paying £14.50 to have you tooth repaired – Normal. I was sure I would need a crown done as I’d had this tooth repaired in England and the dentist (German national and trained) said this tooth is so badly damaged you’ll need a crown (thanks to the New Zealand dental slash butchery industry I was exposed to as a child) - £600 please. Well It’s been on the list of things to do. You don’t just get a crown and a root canal for fun now do you? But after an x-ray and a chat with the dentist here. I’m told “we wouldn’t dream of crowning a tooth this healthy”. No decay and the NZ butchers filling isn’t too deep. Who would you believe? I’ve had some very competitive quotes for non essential work since and am considering on my next trip.

Trouble in Yoga – Normal. I’ve always struggled with full lotus (Padmasana). I’m tight in the hips and that in turn puts stress on my knees. Now every one knows you’ll never get through the primary series unless you conquer lotus (not the right word I know but this is my big log!) and it seems no matter how easy I take it. I finally get there to only get a niggle in the knee (always the right side) and have to rest and start the process all over again. Time to see a professional for fear of being stuck in this loop for the rest of my days.

We were recommended a physiotherapist locally and promptly made appointments. Akash of Advanced Physical Therapy specialises in myofascial trigger point release therapy. For the laymen or budding masochist, this means he beats your muscles and tendons up till you cry. You pay him and thank him for this service.

Within moments of describing my predicament, Akash had me standing on one leg like a trained chimp. Poked at me here and there before giving me the rundown. Basically, that habit of standing on one leg during all those pointless Friday team meetings at work has caused my left side quadtraus lumborum to shorten, in turn pulling my tail bone left of centre and tightening my gluteus medius, in turn preventing my hips from opening outward.

I.e. I have a tight ass! Solution, a good dose of the afore mentioned manipulation and a prescription of strectches.

I ask when I should come back for a return visit and am sternly informed “If I have done my job properly, you will not need to come back”!

Cost of visit £10.

I never have trusted the dentistry and medical professionals of the world. I’ve mostly found them to be gold digging charlatans and frauds. But out here I think I’ve found the honest few capable of restoring integrity to the quackery I’ve come to know. Although I’m sure their western counterparts would be quick to discredit their credentials. So for the record both the dentist and the physio qualified in Germany. Perhaps the only difference is they are less tolerant of dishonesty here.

Thus far I feel I’m opening up in the hips but am taking it as slow and easy as I can. Do it once and do it right!

Yoga moment thus far – Getting into Supta Kurmasana fully bound with my legs behind my head (with assistance of course). Although when doing the closing sequence I started cramping in my left calf and now have a golf ball size knot in there. Putting off a visit to Akash for now as it hurts like a mo fo and quite frankly I’m too much of a pussy. Lets hope it releases soon. I couldn’t figure out what I’d done till the next day when my left foot was sitting by my right ear and that knot was sat firmly against my left shoulder. Ouch!

Getting my hands through in Garba  Pindasana (all by myself too) is a close second (Thanks to Kino McGregor for her ‘getting the hands through the space that isn’t there’ tutorial on Youtube).

Yoga non moment – Being so wiped out by the time the weekend led class comes, I have to sit out half of it. I’m not the only one though. Safety in numbers.

Being told off by Saraswathi for not waiting for assistance is a close second. It won’t happen again!

Sherren

Recognising that this blog may be read by others stumbling on it, in the hope of providing some useful information I have included some web addresses, names and prices.

My experience of Akash …

I have discovered I am less Angelina Jolie and more like that pathetic blond woman in Indiana Jones (if you don’t remember she just screams a lot!).

I am sure that Akash is a fantastic therapist, he gives an air of authority and has lots of gucci massive TV screens where he shows you images of the body and muscles and explains what’s going on (I was sold on his expertise at this point).  That said once all the flaws he highlighted sunk in I'm not so sure about the whole experience.  I too had knee problems in lotus.

On my visit one of two, my knees where explained by extremely tight minor muscles & and ligaments of the upper leg working super hard due to my lack of Quadriceps! Then I thought I'd mention some upper back pain to be told I have Upper cross syndrome, back to that later. Akash did some myofascial release work on my legs which wasn’t painful and sent me away with leg exercises and the promise of in 3 weeks it will be better. We are now that three weeks later and I definitely am growing quads, no real improvement in lotus but legs are definitely stronger, slowly slowly. On visit two (one week later) for the upper cross syndrome he addressed my neck, rhomboids and traps, I cried through the whole thing, tears streaming down my face .... IT HURT!  This is what Glen was talking about!  I was sent away with stretches. His website for anyone who may need him http://www.aptakash.com

My primary series,  I now have the go ahead for the whole series, sometimes I have to modify for my left knee but Saraswathi doesn’t seem to mind.  With most new postures I seem to get a new bruise,  and I currently am sporting two lovely big bruises just above the elbow on the outside of my arms, I think these match up with the ones I have on the outside of my feet for Garba Pindasana.  Small bruises on my hip bones also match up with the bruises on the outside of my feet from lotus.  And lastly a few bruises behind my knees which I haven’t worked out yet … I’m a peach!

Visit to the hairdresser & beauty parlor, I have worked out that everyone here puts henna on their hair, and that’s why they all have the same black hair, no greys, even the men.  Given that black is not my colour I took the plunge and went to the salon this week.  I chose a salon called cutncolour which is in 4^th main,  the lady owner spoke good English and helped me select a shade and I was shown into a room at the front of the salon, all the other customers were in a room at the back.  They spent ages smiling and applying the dye with such care before leaving me to entertain myself before returning to wash off and voila done with no issues and it only cost 650Rs.  Not going to risk a cut though!

The beauty parlor for waxing bits was equally uneventful – thankfully as you really don’t want this to go wrong, Iona (opposite the main shala road) 250Rs.

Some  observations …

Glen blogged before about how conservative the culture here is .... Today next to the tills in the Reliance supermarket, (kaladisa rd, junction gokulam rd, just in case) chocolate flavored condoms, and for 100 Rs (£1) you can buy a packet of i-pill (the 72h emergency contraceptive pill) ... Still don't get why I can't wear shorts!

All fruit and veg waste goes on the street corner and is eaten by the animals, I choose to tip it out of the carrier bag which I take home with me, the locals don't bother.

We have avoided all sightseeing, rides in auto-rickshaws and using a scooter – not bad eh?

Street Lamp Halos Light Our Way

Down Dog and the Gates Before Dawn

Feeling Supersonic!

A Coconut to replace those 'Electrolytes'

Incidentally, I looked up the nutritional value of coconut water (being the geek that I am) and it turns out it is comparative to mineral water regarding it's macronutrients (Ever the pessimist)! It does taste nice though.

A Cooking Lesson, Yoga, The Weather and a Rant From Glen!

Sherren

Anu’s cooking lesson

We have saved a little of our weekly budget and as a treat and as we went to Anu’s Kitchen for a cooking lesson on Saturday, odd that on International Women’s day we go for a cooking lesson!  Anu has a restaurant on the rooftop of her house and cooks daily lunches for visitors, mainly yoga students.  There were at least 20 people there, all nice but in their own worlds and despite trying lots of friendly smiles not particularly easily engaged with …. Perhaps it’s us!

We learnt how to cook Okra two ways – stuffed (personally I think life’s to short to stuff Okra) and dry cooked with spices.  Beans and greens, and a scrummy salad of sprouted mung beans, carrot, fresh coconut, coriander, pomegranate, grapes, and lime with a dressing that was heated spices and lentils (see below).

Now here’s something everyone should try, this was a revelation to me.  Next time you want to spice up your salad, heat some oil (we used coconut) throw in some whole mustard seeds when they start to pop, add one whole green chilly [pierced to stop it exploding (don’t eat it, unless you really want to)] some fresh curry leaves (if you don’t have any don’t bother)  get some dried yellow lentils bung them and then gently fry / toast them in the hot frying pan until the lentils go golden and they will be just soft enough to crunch with a nuttiness and toss this through your salad.  If push came to shove I’d just do it with the lentils and maybe some seeds too! It was amazing and really easy.  And another thing … I didn’t know you don’t have to cook yellow lentils, just soak them and put them in salad like that too!

We ate until we nearly popped and then walked home …. Fantastic food and lovely not to have any Ghee!

Later a Monkey stole our packet of Lentils - from the kitchen, it must agree!

 Yoga

Friday we finished our two weeks with Jai at Mystic, and Monday we move to the Institute.  I feel as though my practice has smoothed out, and I am better able to flow with my breath, my lazy glutes have caused my knees to be sore and a very tight ITB and TFL so at the moment I cant get half lotus on my left side, lots of rollering (thank goodness we found room in the suitcase for the foam roller!) and asana modifications.  I have been told many times by professionals and family to get my arse in gear (probably for different reasons) and better late than never am now starting my butterflies and flutter legs, sounds pretty – looks ungainly but hopefully will help.

Registration at KPJAYI was fun?? we went Friday had to wait until the allotted time being held outside the gates until 4pm, we were then pointed up the stairs to the front door.  The building looks like a grand house from the outside but once inside you step into a small waiting area/lobby with some rather grand wooden double doors which were open and lead into the practice room. This room reminds me of my infant school assembly hall (yes I can remember that far back! And we sat cross-legged there too) it was surprisingly small, with a small stage, there were about 5 people practicing with Saraswathi.  We were pointed to the far corner and tiptoed barefoot around the outside of the room, hugging the walls catching a glimpse of Sharath sat in a rather grand looking office, we went into a very small room which doubled as an office and shop, there were people tripping over each other to buy rather overpriced KPJAYI logo’d yoga things.  There was no cuing or order so after realising waiting was getting us nowhere we just piped up and registered.  After parting with our pennies we were given our cards and a practice time of 6.30 (shala time) mon – fri at Saraswathi’s shala and a led practice time of 6.15 (shala time) Sat in the main shala, Sunday remains our holiday.  There was no interest in who our teacher is, how long we have practiced or if we knew the sequence ….. lets hope they have no assumptions ….. so we wait for Monday morning and will set the alarm super early to leave the apartment in plenty of time at 5.30 ! OMG!

Shala time, well I am told that the clock in the shala used to be 15 minutes fast however over the last year has gained another 5 minutes putting it 20 minutes fast.  Not sure if this is just to make people arrive on time or if they just cant reach the clock to put in a new battery … I haven’t seen the clock yet.

Well Mondays here!  A march to the shala in darkness at 5.30am, this is when we see people out for the daily run or walk and its surprisingly busy, the coconut man is getting ready!  There was no bustle when we arrive at the shala and without the sign you would think you were in the wrong place. We went up the outside steps and through a squeaky door straight into the practice room (actually every door squeaked), we are pointed at the changing rooms and then lay our mats out in a space, there’s quite a lot of space and we are a little early.  I whisper my opening chant and get on with it.  Standing sequence going well and through to the seated series,  I am putting my legs into half lotus …. the left knee has had a weeks rest, today is its test.  Once I get to Marichyasana Saraswathi comes to find out how far I practice and I tell her I cant bind by myself in D, at which point she plonks herself on my mat whilst I work through B and C (she literally is sat where I would quite like to practice! J ).  Now my first side is my worst side so this is tight but she sits on me and with all the might of a 72 year old 5ft nothing lady who has the strength of an Ox squidges me round and I bind on both sides, I thought maybe I’d be stopped here but I am allowed to go on and get some great assists in Supta Kurmasana and Bandasana and get stopped before starting Upavista Konasana. Time for back-bending and finishing sequence which go without note other than its meant to be done in another little room (a bedroom with a huge bed and a tele) which I don’t realise until I see that Glen has gone somewhere and quickly join him! First coconut consumed in celebration (20p), in fact my first fresh coconut – who’d have thought the flesh would be soft and slimy. In fact I might keep a list of firsts – I’m sure there will be many!

Weather

We have had some amazing pre-monsoon storms this week, arriving at around 6.30 pm with lots of rain and thunder and lightening, washing all the sandy mud into the roads, everything is dry by the morning and I just hope they stay an evening occurrence.  The rains are early which means that the mangoes will be too … the countdown to mango madness begins!

Glen

3 Weeks in The Tropics and He's Already Ranting Like Colonel Water E. Kurtz.

“I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal”. Rust Cohle: Characterized by Matthew McConaughey in True Detective.

Not being particularly interested in anthropology, given that we the only remaining species of hominids (a branch of great apes characterized by erect posture, bipedal locomotion, manual dexterity, sociality, tool use and general trend toward larger and more complex brains) have a tendency since becoming self aware to do everything in our power to discriminate against and destroy our fellow human kind in the name of greed and god(s). I don’t subscribe to or care about our worldly cultural or religious differences. In my eyes they only serve as tools for a means of this control and destruction.

However, just like everyone else. When I visit a foreign land, I leave my opinion or moral code at the door and go with the flow in the name of an easy life and peaceful death. Arriving in India, we had half an idea what to expect and the rest we just figured we’d pick up along the way.

Etiquette - I guess in a way it’s like a trip back in time.

Public appearance is a big thing here. The way you dress and the way you conduct yourself in public is as important as the day is long. A few observations thus far have been.

Dress code:

Women should not show their shoulders or legs in public. Apparently bare shoulders are sexual and legs probably are too. It’s hard to imagine English culture of the past being like this, as it was. In a day and age where Lady GaGa and Miley Cyrus are role models for young girls and gangster rappers for boys preaching b***hes this and n***ers that. Children learn about sex by watching porn on the internet and grow up wanting to be ‘Glamor Models’(That’s a polite way of saying porn star for those of you who don’t know). It’s hard to tell which culture is the most progressive. If anything we are certainly desensitised to the sexual nature of shoulders and ankles.

Men should wear full length trousers and a collared shirt representative of your social status. Although westerners generally get off a lightly, I’ve drawn a few funny looks wearing my board shorts out and about every day. Shorts being the apparel of the lower castes.

Men and woman don’t hold hands or kiss in public. These acts are considered a part of the sexual experience and are confined to the bedroom. However it is Ok for men to hold hands with each other so long as they’re not gay. That is still illegal.

Table etiquette consists of eating with your hand. More specifically your right hand. Your left hand is for wiping your bum and never the two shall meet (if only they new). Pass and receive with your right hand only and don’t point at anyone with the poo-y hand.

The Caste System at A Glance

Post world war 2 British soldiers returned home only to find they were expected to fall back in to the class from which they were emancipated (thanks to the rise of Nazi Germany) and head back down the mines.

Having experienced the freedoms of war (a strange term I know), a superior diet to that which they could afford back home and having served along side their US counterparts and seen first hand the wealth and freedoms they possessed. It was time to say no more and a new Britain was born.

Now I’m not saying that system is gone, it never will go. We’re pack animals and it’s part of our nature to be part of a gang. And so we group ourselves into the haves and the have not’s and do our damnedest to keep the wolves at bay. But at least it’s possible to own your own home now along with all the other ridiculous consumerisms we’ve subscribed to, and if you do manage to rise to the top of the social ladder through no effort but your own, then you’ll be accepted for it.

Coming from a former colony like New Zealand, Australia, Canada and the USA, we don’t subscribe to the class system in the same sense. It’s half the reason our families left (or were shipped out in chains) in the first place. To make a better life without the oppression of the ruling classes to stop you.

In India, Caste is commonly thought of as an ancient fact of Indian life, but various contemporary scholars have argued that the caste system was constructed by the British colonial regime. If this is in fact the case then it seems strange that this of all systems has been the one most rigidly held on to in 67 years of independence. In contradiction to this is the Hindu belief that the only way to scale the caste ladder is by death and reincarnation. Therefore one is expected to accept their birth caste as fate and wait it out till the next life in hope of a better hand.

Daily Life

We’ve settled into daily life now with a fairly rigid routine of wake, yoga, eat, shower, rest, chanting practice (to come), eat, daily walk and grocery shopping, strength exercise, stretch, meditate and bed.

It’s a bit like being back home only without the 12 hour travel/work grind. The number one question we seem to ask is “what day is it”? I imagine that question will evolve to which month is it before long.

Still trying to get some yoga match fitness together and find I alternate between a strong practice and a weak, tired practice each day. I’m currently supplementing the yoga with a daily workout aimed at increasing bodyweight strength ratio in a bid to undo the damage I self inflict during the winter months:

60 Press Ups (wide for chest – I do enough triceps with Chaturanga)

60 Squats (body weight)

60 Dips (off chairs)

120 Sit Ups

6 Chin Ups (of the wardrobe)

5 Hand Stands (20 seconds each) – These should be Hand Stand Push Ups but my shoulders aren’t strong enough at the moment. (was doing 30 of these last summer)

I do these in sets of 5 and will be doubling the reps at the beginning  of next week.

The Mega Concrete Block Truck

Festival of Maha Shivratri

Blog number one - by Sherren!

I am not sure that I can write with as much finesse as Glen, he has set the bar high, but I'm going to subject you to my ramblings and see if the viewing figures drop, according to the stats Glen has captured the interest of one person in the UAE and five in Nigeria.

Festival of Maha Shivaratri

I'm going to wow you all with a video of the small procession coming past the apartment this morning, reading of puranas and offerings of Bhiksha or Alms in celebration of Maha Shivaratri. (produced by Glen Scott).

Yoga Practice

We are here for the yoga so that's where I will start.  Although I've been going to yoga classes for some years, I have only really been practicing Ashtanga for the last 10 months or so, dipping my feet into the waters of lots of different classes before then.  

I have always been the sort to throw myself head first into things, some times successfully and sometimes not ... Thinking of the UrHu in mums loft.  If you are going to throw yourself into Ashtanga Yoga Mysore has to be the place to visit!  So I find myself here thanks to the like minded man I share my life with :-)

Breaking ourselves into the practice at the main shala we have begun at Mystic Yoga with a quiet teacher called Jai Prakash and a very civilised practice start time of 7.30am.  I was massively anxious the night before class so much so that I didn't sleep finding Glen in the same boat, we slept in, going instead the following morning. We started at the front of class fearful of forgetting the order of the asanas.  Some 6 practices on we find ourselves at the back of class, myself being squished to bind in Supta Kurmasana and being told to ease off with my struggle in Marachyasana D and just twist and breath. We aren't stopped but allowed to continue the primary series to the end, I know that will be different when we get to the main shala. The group is small so far between 3 and 8 so we receive lots of attention.

I like the formality and the strict nature of the practice, I like that it is making me physically and mentally stronger, that I can see progress and feel graceful (mostly) I've learnt that it doesn't matter if I look graceful or not.

Pop Up Shops

I was hoping to have a photograph or two to help convey the colourful addition these make to the streets of Mysore however the festival and fasting has kept these away for the last two days, i will do my best to describe them.

The mornings are started with familiar cries of “eeyyhiii” as the rag and bone man comes up the road with his two wheel variety, overtaken by the chap on the Enfield motorbike chucking newspapers over people gates.

They then start appearing at the roadside, they have either 4 wheels (taken from an old large bicycle) or two wheels (taken from a penny farthing), size doesn't matter so much other than they all need to be matching.  The two wheeled are more mobile and are pushed along the roads.  

Although in Surrey we would call them ‘pop up shops’ here they are best described as carts.

There are coconut ones, fruit and veg ones, ones mounted with popcorn makers, others mounted with giant cogs and wringers for making sugar cane juice, mini doughnut making thingies and roadside takeaways cooking curries and doss’s.  

Then yesterday we spied every busy mothers dream, a two wheeled one mounted with a fire heated hearth and heavy flat bottomed round cast iron clothes press, complete with Auntie doing peoples ironing, i am sure this would take off in Surrey! 

The wildlife has surprised me .... MONKEY!

We have seen fat cows, emaciated cows, a healthy horse and two emaciated horses.

Fat shiny feathered chickens, chicks and cockerels, big goats, little goats and nanny goats. 

Manky dogs, skinny dogs, flourishing dogs. 

Playful chipmunks and a variety of birds. 

Massive bats and a Rhesus monkey hanging right outside our window. 

Ironically looking in through the bars with amusement at our surprised faces. 

For all those creatures we have seen a person who find themselves in the same situation. 

I would consider that we are perhaps the chipmunks.